Gimme your money, please
I've been procrastinating. I need to write letters to raise funds for the trip. I didn't think it would be difficult, but it is. What do I say?
________________________________
Dear friends, family and people I barely know:
Please give me money so that I can go to the other side of the world and volunteer to work with people you've never met. In exchange for your generosity, you will earn the right to behave smugly.
A donation of $25 will entitle you to one day of smugness. For only $175 (Canadian), you will earn an entire week of smugness. I will present you with a certificate somewhat akin to a get-out-of-jail-free card. When somebody berates you for acting like a smug jerk, you will proudly show them the card proclaiming your right to behave thusly. Your accuser will then kneel before you and beg forgiveness. Unless, of course, he has a Smugness Entitlement card too. Then you're on your own.
Additionally, you will receive my undying gratitude, covering the same period of time as the Smugness Entitlement card.
Sincerely,
sic
_________________________________
See? Do you see why I don't want to do this? It's no fun. It's humiliating and unpleasant. I'd rather just pay for the whole trip myself. Except I can't, goshdarnit.
Maybe instead of going to India, I'll just go to Indiana for a couple of weeks. Surely there's some poor folks there in need of assistance.
PS: If for some reason this letter actually inspires you to swing a couple bucks my way, go to http://www.freedomizeindia.com and click the 'donate' button. In the 'payment for' box, enter my initials (they're sic, in case you hadn't guessed). Canadian taxpayers will get a tax receipt for all donations above $20. Your Smugness Entitlement card will be mailed out.
________________________________
Dear friends, family and people I barely know:
Please give me money so that I can go to the other side of the world and volunteer to work with people you've never met. In exchange for your generosity, you will earn the right to behave smugly.
A donation of $25 will entitle you to one day of smugness. For only $175 (Canadian), you will earn an entire week of smugness. I will present you with a certificate somewhat akin to a get-out-of-jail-free card. When somebody berates you for acting like a smug jerk, you will proudly show them the card proclaiming your right to behave thusly. Your accuser will then kneel before you and beg forgiveness. Unless, of course, he has a Smugness Entitlement card too. Then you're on your own.
Additionally, you will receive my undying gratitude, covering the same period of time as the Smugness Entitlement card.
Sincerely,
sic
_________________________________
See? Do you see why I don't want to do this? It's no fun. It's humiliating and unpleasant. I'd rather just pay for the whole trip myself. Except I can't, goshdarnit.
Maybe instead of going to India, I'll just go to Indiana for a couple of weeks. Surely there's some poor folks there in need of assistance.
PS: If for some reason this letter actually inspires you to swing a couple bucks my way, go to http://www.freedomizeindia.com and click the 'donate' button. In the 'payment for' box, enter my initials (they're sic, in case you hadn't guessed). Canadian taxpayers will get a tax receipt for all donations above $20. Your Smugness Entitlement card will be mailed out.
this is the word of sic @
09:26
3 Comments:
playing on peoples conscience is always good. Try a chain letter. You know, guilt them. Tell them if they don't send you money and pass the letter on to 10 other friends they will be cursed and their genitalia will fall off within a week. That oughta get them to atleast consider the offer.
By
Saucy Monk, at 8:07 a.m.
Oooh... I like it. Expect your sob-story-death-threat letter to arrive later this week.
By
sic, at 10:00 a.m.
I go on a Mission Trip every year and I have found that a letter works best. I send out at least 100 letters, and I have found the people I think will give more...usually don't and those you think won't give..usually give way more.
Bless Your work!
Troy
By
Anonymous, at 5:17 p.m.
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