God does love a good joke
Well. It's official. God hates me. There's no other possible explanation.
There are two groups of people going to India: one in May and another in July. There are about 25 people going all told, but I didn't know who was going on which trip. Yesterday I learned that the May trip (the one I'm going on) consists of the two leaders, one other guy and nine girls.
And they look to be some very girly girls. In fact, I know one of them to be the Girliest Girly Girl alive.
So now you're probably thinking 'Ohmygosh! How could she say that? That's awful!'
But, really, I'm sure you're fine — you know, on your own. You're probably a super-nice person. (No, please don't cry.) One at a time, I'm sure we'd have a swell time together. Honestly. (Oh, for frig's sake! Stop the infernal crying. And wipe your nose.) It's just sort of the whole agorafemiphobia* thing I've got going on.
Put a bunch of women together in a room (particularly a bunch of Christian women) and suddenly all rational thought gets defenestrated. (I love that word!) It's all babies and weddings and Bridget Friggin' Jones and femenine** hygiene products and recipes. Inevitably, somebody's going to start crying.
Okay, so there are three guys on the trip: the two leaders and one other. Now, I suspect that the two leaders will stick together quite a bit. That leaves me with one guy to hang out with. He's a good guy. He can sarcas with the best of them. So far, so good, right?
I've actually lived with this particular guy, so I know a bit about him. He very much values his alone time. He won't get much of that in Calcutta, so I imagine he'll be spending every spare minute locked up in his room on his own.
Somebody pointed out that one of the leaders met his girlfriend on last year's trip (she was there as a volunteer as well). He said that maybe the same'll happen to me. Oh great! That's something to look forwards to: maybe I'll meet a lovely woman.
Ugh.
Can I get my money back? I've changed my mind.
*agorafemiphobia: [noun] the fear of large groups of women.
**It would seem I can't even spell feminine right!
There are two groups of people going to India: one in May and another in July. There are about 25 people going all told, but I didn't know who was going on which trip. Yesterday I learned that the May trip (the one I'm going on) consists of the two leaders, one other guy and nine girls.
And they look to be some very girly girls. In fact, I know one of them to be the Girliest Girly Girl alive.
So now you're probably thinking 'Ohmygosh! How could she say that? That's awful!'
But, really, I'm sure you're fine — you know, on your own. You're probably a super-nice person. (No, please don't cry.) One at a time, I'm sure we'd have a swell time together. Honestly. (Oh, for frig's sake! Stop the infernal crying. And wipe your nose.) It's just sort of the whole agorafemiphobia* thing I've got going on.
Put a bunch of women together in a room (particularly a bunch of Christian women) and suddenly all rational thought gets defenestrated. (I love that word!) It's all babies and weddings and Bridget Friggin' Jones and femenine** hygiene products and recipes. Inevitably, somebody's going to start crying.
Okay, so there are three guys on the trip: the two leaders and one other. Now, I suspect that the two leaders will stick together quite a bit. That leaves me with one guy to hang out with. He's a good guy. He can sarcas with the best of them. So far, so good, right?
I've actually lived with this particular guy, so I know a bit about him. He very much values his alone time. He won't get much of that in Calcutta, so I imagine he'll be spending every spare minute locked up in his room on his own.
Somebody pointed out that one of the leaders met his girlfriend on last year's trip (she was there as a volunteer as well). He said that maybe the same'll happen to me. Oh great! That's something to look forwards to: maybe I'll meet a lovely woman.
Ugh.
Can I get my money back? I've changed my mind.
*agorafemiphobia: [noun] the fear of large groups of women.
**It would seem I can't even spell feminine right!
this is the word of sic @
15:20
7 Comments:
damn that sucks.
i guess you'll just have to spend a lot of time at the mall eating frozen yogurt and window-shopping for some nice shoes.
wait, did you say Calcutta?
Oh...hell no.
By
Saucy Monk, at 4:19 p.m.
You're an amazing writer...thanks for sharing your wit and humor (or perhaps to you it's "Humour") with the world. Well, at least with me; I shouldn't speak for everyone else. Maybe they don't like your humor. I haven't asked them all yet.
I'm impressed and proud of you for braving the passport office. I'm more proud and impressed that you're going to do mission work. Sorry you're going with so many women. I feel your pain...
By
Jeff, at 5:45 p.m.
HA! You made me laugh! Thanks for your post..we really are not cool, just rebellious, which in and of itself can be a verra bad thing. I think I rebel vicariously through my children... hmm, enough self-analysis on your blog. Come and visit anytime:)
By
tomirose, at 7:51 p.m.
Glad to see you posted on this site again...even if it's a copied post (ahem)...
By
Kate the Peon, at 8:16 p.m.
god damn. maybe what you really need is a woman to balance you out.
By
Anonymous, at 10:10 p.m.
thanks. think i'll pass on that...
By
sic, at 10:14 p.m.
Give people a chance...give the situation a chance. Prejudice robs us of so many potentially wonderful experiences...and from what I can tell, you were excited about this trip, so don't lose that excitement.
IF YOU GO, AND IT SUCKS, then bash the hell out of 'em...but give them a chance first ;)
Sorry if this post was incredibly sincere and 'for the good of the world' - I will be sure to add some sarcasm at some point. Keep us posted! :D
By
Andrew, at 12:41 a.m.
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