I'll show you irony

29 May 2005
Globetrotter's Inn, Edinburgh

Psst! Hey you! Remember when we were in India? You said you thought it would be funny if I survived India with nary a gurgle from my tummy, while all around us people were dropping like flies, only to get food poisoning in Scotland. Right. Frickin' hilarious.

For some reason, I keep thinking it was you who said it, but it can't have been. You weren't even with us in India, were you? That must be just my own deep-seated resentment of you and my desire to blame you for something.

But enough about me. Let's talk about you. Whoever you are...

Since this was your idea, I just wanted to let you know how much I hate you. Even as I write this, my stomach loudly voices its agreement.

I'm writing tonight because I finally feel well enough to. I've actually eaten two pieces of toast and two tins of thin soup today. Oh, and some Immodium. Mustn't forget that...

Was it really food poisoning or was it just a stomach flu? Was it actually a BAD cheese sandwich? Or was it merely an unpleasant cheese sandwich shortly before a case of the flu? I don't know. I don't care, really.

Right now there are only two things I do know.
1. I don't recommend the cheese sandwiches at the Edinburgh train station.
2. I really hate you. Whoever you are...